Author Topic: A little tax season humor..  (Read 869 times)

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Offline DonnaB

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A little tax season humor..
« on: April 02, 2017, 03:01:02 PM »
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, "Well, Sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no fulltime employment...which you explain by saying that you win the money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

I'm a gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "OK. Go ahead."

Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars I can bit me own eye."

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "It's a bet!"

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, "Now I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell that Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes that he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks.

"I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he's pretty much urinated all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you OK?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you would be happy about it."

"To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought."
Tom Robbins

Offline Corrine

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Re: A little tax season humor..
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2017, 05:25:26 PM »
:D


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Offline plodr

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Re: A little tax season humor..
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2017, 07:43:51 PM »
Good one, DonnaB!

Offline v_v

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Re: A little tax season humor..
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2017, 11:23:19 PM »
TOP NOTCH!!!
Justice, Equity, and Meaningful, Productive, and Fulfilling Lives to All Earthlings

Offline GR@PH;<'S

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Re: A little tax season humor..
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2017, 04:52:14 AM »
DonnaB,
Very good

GR@PH;<'S, 

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Offline Frands

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Re: A little tax season humor..
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2017, 06:10:44 AM »
Great one, DonnaB! ;D I'll have that one in mind, if I for a change have to go to a codfish party in the taxman's office :P
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