*Political Philosophies Explained in Simple Two-Cow Terms*
*SOCIALISM* You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbour.
*COMMUNISM* You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.
*FASCISM* You have two cows. The government takes them both and sells you the milk.
*BUREAUCRACY* You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.
*CAPITALISM* You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
*CORPORATE* You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead.
*DEMOCRACY* You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to pay the taxes to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.
