Children's account security

[Ria]

Hello. I don't know if my request can have place in this site because it's about Internet from a mobile android  telephone. I have a 13 old years old son, soon 14, and recently I discovered that he watched some unpropper YouTube videos. I have his google account information and got into it. Every thing he searched or watched is there. Is there anything I can do to have a kind of control of what is he doing.? I'm almost sure that the damage is done from his phone and not from his computer. I know that having the settings of his account like this, I mean to be saved, is not good but how can I see what is he doing without it? And what is the best way to prevent it instead of check afterwards? My brother who knows more than me about computers was taking care of my sons computer in the past, but he doesn't have the time anymore, and he never was concerned about telephone settings.. I would appreciate if you could help me. And please forgive my English. I made almost 40 minutes to write this. :)

[plodr]

You might want to consider replacing your son's smart phone with a dumb phone. That is one that can only do phone calls and text. If he wants to get on the internet, then he'll be forced to use the computer.

This will give you an idea
https://www.lifewire.com/basic-cell-phones-577534

I don't know what is available in your country. I just read this morning that Samsung has the J2 Pro in South Korea and possibly India that can not access the internet so students will not get distracted.

[Digerati]

Sadly, unless you lock your kids in a cage, block all contact from their friends, and take away all their devices, you cannot prevent this from happening again. :(

Using one of those phones (and accounts) like plodr suggested is a good idea. I suggest you visit your cell carrier's store and talk to them about parental controls.

But that does not stop your son's access to such content through a friends phone or computer. :(

You certainly need to talk to him candidly about the dangers. There are predators out there but sadly, most kids that age think they are invincible and it will never happen to them. So expect resistance.

Also, kids love to share photos. If they share a photo of an underaged kid in a compromising scenario, that might be considered the distribution of child pornography, a very serious criminal offense that carries life long consequences! It is truly scary. :( 

Your child's school may have some resources you can contact for help too.

For sure, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Note this is typical teenage behavior most parents ignore or are too embarrassed to seek advice. So good for you being a caring parent! Maybe not today, but one day, he will understand and appreciate that. Have patience and be persistent.

(5 kids, 8 grandkids and 1 great-grandson. Been there, done that! Have the gray hairs, receding hair line, and high blood pressure to prove it!)

[Corrine]

Hi, Ria. 

I don't have an Android phone so someone else may have better suggestions.  However, I did locate two different apps available on Google Play that can be used to block all inappropriate content:

MMGuardian Parent App - Apps on Google Play includes "Web Filter, and more. Filter out mature contents to protect your teens and preteens and stay safe from the dark side of internet."

SecureTeen Parental Control - Apps on Google Play includes "Use the bulk of built-in categories offered by SecureTeen to block all inappropriate content from your teens' internet experience."

You would need to consider carefully how closely you "monitor" your son's activities as they have many features.

Unfortunately, the languages supported are limited to Dutch, English, French, German, Indonesian, Italian, Polish, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish, Turkish but you may with to also consider Malwarebytes Security: Virus Cleaner, Anti-Malware - Apps on Google Play.  It is available from Google Play here:  Malwarebytes Security: Virus Cleaner, Anti-Malware - Apps on Google Playi.  Note:  At installation, it offers a 30-day trial of the Premium version. 

P.S.  Your English is very good!

[Ria]

Thank you very much about all these answers. Start from where! I wish I didn't buy him a smartphone. But can you say this to a teenager? He was the only one in the primary school he had no phone. Now, in secondary school even teachers use  viber to send students messages about lessons. I didn't have viber but I installed it to have an idea about what is going on. We talked to him and he promised that he would not do it again but how can I be sure. Smartphones are like computers and I am afraid we can't stop them. Everything is up to each children and their education from home and family. I know that I'm not alone but this doesn't make me feel better. Something else I didn't like is that YouTube says that it blocks inappropriate videos. Then how all these videos are uploaded? I will try to install one application from those you suggested and I hope I will set then right. My English is understandable and I thank Google translation about this. Thank you very much again.

[Digerati]

I know that I'm not alone but this doesn't make me feel better.

I said that because I know of parents who have felt they were doing a poor job of parenting because their children were doing things on line they shouldn't. We can teach our kids right from wrong but that does not mean they will do right instead of wrong - especially with the very powerful force of peer pressure kids must endure these days.

As for inappropriate videos on YouTube, some reports claim there are over 400 hours of YouTube videos uploaded to YouTube every minute! That is more than 1/2 million hours worth every day. While YouTube/Google (Google owns YouTube) has 1000s on staff checking for inappropriate and illegal content, they just can't keep up and pull the bad ones down as fast as they go up.

[JDBush61]

Hi Ria, this is a very complex subject. You asked "But can you say this to a teenager?"

My opinion? Yes! You sure can. For example, my parents were very strict, and they allowed zero nonsense. If my mother thought that I was watching too much television, she would just walk into the room and turn off the television, then turn to me and say "Go outside, run around, and get some exercise. You've been watching too much television." Was I sometimes unhappy with her strict parenting? Yes. However, I now know that what she did was absolutely needed, and that she was doing the right thing. It's called 'correct parenting', in my opinion.

It's important to help children think critically. Children enjoy following good paths, especially if they can see the logic and can feel that the good idea is 'their good idea'. Thus, help them. Give them ideas, ideas that will change their mind in a positive way. When my son was in his early teens, he asked me "Dad, how can I get the nice things in life that I want?"

I replied "If you want nice things, here's how it works, so think about this clearly. Nice things cost money. To have lots of money to buy nice things, you need a good job. To have a good job, you need a good education. To have a good education, you need to attend, and graduate from, a good university. To attend a good universtity, you need to study hard in high school. To study hard in high school, you need to put down that video game and open up your school books."

I currently live in Japan. Children here are strictly taught from a very young age to study hard every day. Every day. There is no summer vacation. Think about that.

I hope some of this helps.

[Ria]

As Digerati said above we can teach our children right from wrong but that does not mean that they will do right instead of wrong especially nowadays. I don't know your age but I think that most of our parents didn't have the same difficulties we have. We talk a lot to our children, we are strict but it's easy to loose communication with them. This would be very dangerous. Every society is different I think. What do you think about having remember Google history activated? With this I can see what he is doing from time to time but this is safe for him? Thank you

[Digerati]

What do you think about having remember Google history activated? With this I can see what he is doing from time to time but this is safe for him? Thank you

I think anything that lets him know you are watching is safer for him.

[JDBush61]

As Digerati said above we can teach our children right from wrong but that does not mean that they will do right instead of wrong especially nowadays. I don't know your age but I think that most of our parents didn't have the same difficulties we have. We talk a lot to our children, we are strict but it's easy to loose communication with them. This would be very dangerous. Every society is different I think. What do you think about having remember Google history activated? With this I can see what he is doing from time to time but this is safe for him? Thank you

Hi Ria, everyone here has much better advice than I can offer regarding computer-related questions, but maybe some of my thoughts might help. I'm over 50 and my son is now nearing 30, and yes, my parents faced different difficulties. It was a different age then. However, I think that teaching "right from wrong" hasn't changed so much since I was a teenager. I'm no psychiatrist, nor am I the world's greatest parent, yet I do have some opinions, whatever they are worth.

I was thinking about your situation last night. You mentioned that you were concerned about your son viewing less-than-propper YouTube videos. I can understand your dismay. As I mentioned above, offering 'alternative pathways' and teaching children 'critical thinking' can often help. For example, it might be worthwhile to suggest to your son that he is now at a very good age to start learning to play a musical instrument; guitar, drums, violin -- whatever might interest him. This might spark an interest or an idea, and show him that there are other things a person can do with a computer -- and with YouTube. These days, unlike when I was young (pre Internet), there are wonderful music instruction videos on the Internet and on YouTube. Moreover, technology has now advanced to the level that people (including me!) can run a virtual 'professional-level recording studio' on their computer, in their bedroom. Creativity is very fun! More fun than watching 'bad videos'. If a child is shown that pathway, they might laugh at people who waste time doing less-than-propper things on the Internet. Again, just my experience, and my opinion. Moreover, I've been told that musicians make wonderful computer programmers (engineers). That's something to think about.

As for communication, that's very important. In my house, our family ate dinner together every night, with no television. It was a rule. During dinner, my parents asked about 'our day'. That showed interest, and it brought everyone together, like a 'family'. Great conversations, and lots of advice was given at 'dinner time'.

Again, I hope that some of my thoughts help.   

[Ria]

We talked again, installed SecureTeen Parental Control app, and explained the dangers of uncarefull surfing and sharing personal information. I must say that I am still in a kind of panic about what happened and about the future too. It's so true that what we hear for others can be easily finds us  and our people without expecting it. Regarding music, music is his favorite hobby from 3 years old. In two years he takes his piano diploma, he plays saxophone, flute, mandolin and all the melodic percussion instruments. It's not only the luck of alternatives that push them to the bad internet behavior. It's curiosity. I only hope that curiosity isn't going to lead them to something sick, dangerous or addictive. Here I want to thank all you answered to my question. I heard about your site the best and I see that it's true. I'm glad I had this opportunity to speak with people who know more about these things. Thank you. Ria.

[Corrine]

From what I can see in what you've told us, in my opinion, you're doing a wonderful job parenting, Ria!  Don't hesitate to ask if other questions/issues arise.  We don't have all the answers but we'll definitely do our best to help.

In two years he takes his piano diploma, he plays saxophone, flute, mandolin and all the melodic percussion instruments.

WOW! That is absolutely fantastic!

[Digerati]

Curiosity is normal. He just needs to understand that what he sees on the Internet is not how most women want to be, or should be treated - and many are there because they have no other choice - and/or are forced to be there.

In two years he takes his piano diploma, he plays saxophone, flute, mandolin and all the melodic percussion instruments.

Yeah! I agree that is fantastic.

And I agree with Corrine about your parenting. You are involved. That already puts you ahead of most.

[Ria]

Can you please tell me how can I send a private message. Thank you.

[Pete!]

Click on "My Messages" (near the top of each forum page), a new page will open.
Put your mouse on "Messages", a drop down menu should appear.
Click on "New Message", a page will open where you can address and write the message.
The rest is pretty straight forward.