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Topics - Shax

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 5
1
Computer Problems, Questions and Solutions! / WinPatrol Warning
« on: April 03, 2018, 10:20:55 PM »
G'day, all!
Scotty keeps popping up with this one, which I don't recognise and looks suspicious to me. I haven't allowed it, but should I?


2
Security Software Programs / OpenDNS Blocking Sites
« on: March 17, 2018, 10:02:57 AM »

Hello to Corrine and others here! It's been a while, but I need help if possible please.

I use a particular GardenWeb forum pretty much every day. Always click to it from my Firefox Bookmarks, and have done so for around 10 years. Suddenly today I get the message below. I can still open every other GW forum normally, but this one is being stubborn. There's another non-GW forum with the same problem.

I've searched my computer for any programs or add-ons resembling this OpenDNS thing, but nothing I can find. I certainly didn't download it. It seems to have coincided with today's Windows updates.

It does offer me the chance to report it with my name and email address, but that makes me a bit twitchy.

I just did a System Restore to 3 days ago. I've done full scans with MWB and Avast. And now I notice that while the Skype icon is where it always is on my taskbar, it refuses to open.  And using Chrome gives me the same blocking results.

Anybody know what could be happening?

3
Jokes / Family Support
« on: June 05, 2017, 05:10:48 AM »

Jake had proposed to young Gina, and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law. “Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?” the older man asked the suitor.

“Yes, Sir,” replied Jake, “I’m sure I am.”

“Think carefully now,” said Gina’s father. “There are twelve of us…”

4
Jokes / 2 Cows
« on: January 16, 2017, 06:05:58 AM »

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?
Farmer: Which one? The black one or the brown one?
Interviewer: Brown one.
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer: And the black one?
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer (naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?
Interviewer: Black.
Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one?
Farmer: Grass.
Interviewer (now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!
Farmer: Because the black one’s mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?
Farmer: It’s also mine.

5
Howdy al! Been a while...

I just posted this problem in the GW Computer Help forum, but almost forgot my dear and clever friends here, so again...


Running W7. Yesterday I tried to run my weekly scan with MWB and it offered me an updated program, which I took. It downloaded and installed smoothly. Then when I tried to scan, the "Check for updates" icon rotated continuously. I tried several times, and after a ridiculous 15 minutes of watching and waiting, did a complete uninstall and a fresh install from their home site. But same problem.

Just ran an Avast scan for trojans/malware, and it found none. Also a Windows Defender scan. Clean too.

Any suggestions? :sos:

6
Jokes / Profiling in Heaven
« on: August 27, 2014, 03:07:36 AM »

Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing dark hoodies and sagging pants (with exposed undies) arrive.

Surprised, St Peter looks out through the Gates and says, "Wait here. I'll be right back."

St Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is awaiting entrance. God, irritated, says to Peter: "How many times do I have to tell you? You can't be judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!"

So St Peter goes back, looks around and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God's chambers and says, "Well, they're gone."

"The guys wearing hoodies?" asks God.

"No. The Pearly Gates."

7
Jokes / The Romantic husband
« on: July 05, 2014, 03:42:10 AM »

An older couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their phones. The wife, being a romantic, decided one day that she would send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend. She texted:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams,
If you are laughing, send me your smile,
If you are eating, send me a bite,
If you are drinking, send me a sip,
If you are crying, send me your tears,
I love you.

The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back:

I'm on the toilet. Please advise

8
Jokes / Outsmarted
« on: July 05, 2014, 03:37:35 AM »

An elderly married couple is traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George.
Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'. He insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for them to use.

"But we didn't use them," the husband said.

"Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn't have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check.
She did and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But ma'am, this is made out for only $50.00."

"That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Don't mess with senior citizens..... They didn't get there by being stupid.

9
Jokes / Close Shave
« on: July 05, 2014, 03:30:40 AM »

An old cowboy walks into the barber shop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years.

"But", he wanted to know, "what would have happened if I'd swallowed that little ball?"

The barber replied,"Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does".

10
Jokes / Who's a Clever Duck?
« on: July 05, 2014, 03:27:26 AM »
So this duck walks into a bar, hops up on the bar stool and asks the bartender "got a beer?"

The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here, now get out!"

So the next day the duck comes back and says "Can I buy a beer?"

The bartender says "NO!, I told you yesterday that we don't serve your kind here, and if you come back one more time I will staple your feet to this bar!"

The next day the duck comes in and hops up on the stool and says "Got any staples?"

The bartender replies "No!"

The duck says "Then can I have a beer?"

11
Jokes / Building Muscles
« on: July 05, 2014, 03:23:02 AM »

I came across this exercise suggested for seniors to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface where you have plenty of room on each side.

With a five pound potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold the position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to a 10 lb. potato sack. Then 50 lb. potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100 lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

12
Jokes / Peanuts
« on: July 05, 2014, 03:19:18 AM »

A man walks into a bar, sits down and immediately hears a little voice that says, "Nice tie".

He looks around and then hears, "Nice shirt".

The man, now getting flustered, asks the bartender, "What's that voice?".

Bartender replies, "Oh that's just the peanuts.  They're complimentary".

13
Computer Problems, Questions and Solutions! / Merging Drives?
« on: June 28, 2014, 11:31:53 AM »

Late last year I bought this new Lenovo G570 laptop to replace my dead Asus. Nothing flash, but it suits my needs. It came with 2 GB RAM which I upgraded to 4 GB. Has 500 GB hard drive and Intel Core i5.

After I'd loaded a few AV programs and transferred my photos and music files, I got the message that the hard drive was nearly full!

A quick check showed that my C Drive is only 29.2 GB and D Drive also 29.2 GB. No other drives listed. This is not a technologically advanced country I'm living in and I didn't trust the shop to touch it , but an IT friend passing through downloaded EaseUS Partition Master and discovered a hidden F Drive, containing the missing 406 GB. Unfortunately he's left the country, but did suggest that I could merge the C drive with F.

I've moved all my photos, video and music files to this F Drive, and any new programs/files that I install, I send to F:, but since the OS system is fixed in C, Windows updates etc go there and it's filling again.

Current status is:

C: 6.95 GB free of 29.2GB
D: 26.1 GB free of 29.2 GB
F: 395 GB free of 406 GB

Sorry for the convoluted explanation, but is there a simple (ha!) way that I can grab some of that F storage for my C drive, or merge/combine them?


14
Jokes / Frozen Window?
« on: June 18, 2014, 06:15:55 AM »

Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning:

"Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts
back:
"Gently pour some lukewarm water
over it."

Wife texts back
5 minutes later:
"Computer really screwed up
now."

15
Jokes / A Letter from Mum
« on: March 05, 2014, 12:35:40 AM »

    Dearest Son,

    I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

    This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine although I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.

    The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

    About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

    Your brother locked his keys in the truck yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

    Your sister had a baby this morning, she said it looks just like you, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle.

    Uncle George fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.

    Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Jim was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

    There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

    Love from your Mum

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