Government Contracts

[jamesk]

Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence.

One from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida.

They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,
then works some figures with a pencil.

"Well," he says. "I figure the job will run about $900:
$400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,
"I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and
$100 profit for me."

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to
the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other
guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

$1,000 for me and $1,000 for you and we hire the guy from Tennessee."

[mitch]

as a taxpayer i laugh, but it is so true

now it comes out that is exactly what two big contractors did in new orleans !!! they bid on the hauling away of the trashed houses

the bid i think was for something like $30/cubic yard, but by the time it got to the actual contractor doing the work, he got $9 a cubic yard and the big guys and 4 others in between make money and do nothing !

[GR@PH;<'S]

jamesk,

Funny how the world goes round  :hysterical:
At least I can hold my hand up and say  :wasntme: that voted them in

GR@PH;<'S   :breakkie:

[Ripley]

Ugh, the not so funny part of gov't that IS funny.

I just got this one sent to me:

HOW GOVERNMENT WORKS

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person at $18,000.00 a year for the job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?
So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions for $22,000.00, and one person to do time studies for an additional $22,000.00 per year.

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?
So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies for $31,000.00 and one to write the reports for an additional $31,000.00 per year.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?
So they created the following positions, a time keeper for $35,000.00 annual salary, and a payroll officer for an additional $35,000.00, then hired two people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer at $155,000.00 per year, Assistant Administrative Officer $125,000.00, and a Legal Secretary for an additional $100,000.00 per year.

Then Congress said, "We have had this operating for one year with a budget cost of $574,000.00 and we are $18,000 over budget. We must cutback overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman.


                                      SEE HOW IT WORKS?

[Corrine]

Sad but true.  :(

But there's one problem with those numbers:  a Legal Secretary for an additional $100,000.00 per year :hysterical:

[babyoh]

 :hysterical:

too funny

and TOO true